Current mood:

hot

The Harry Potter Guide to Christ Church
God damn, it's been a long time since I wrote in my journal!
I'll catch up in installments.

But first, I give you
The Harry Potter Guide to Christ Church
which I found on my computer last night...

* The entrance to the Chamber of Secrets seems to be in the toilets near hall, which were closed for 'refurbishment' the week the film came out. Clearly, it was built by King Charles II during the civil war when he was holed up at high table in hall with his parliament. Should Oxford fall, the horror within the chamber would be released.

* Do not eat the food in hall. It was described by thepet as "Ming in its purest form," and therefore we were not at all surprised to see the body of Moaning Myrtle being carried down the hall steps with a sheet over it. Basilisk, my arse. Cover up!

* Dumbledore’s office is in Old Library. You do not need the password from McGonagall. The porters will give you the door code, if you ask them nicely, or put them under the Imperius curse.

* If you want to drug someone, hide behind the large and miserable looking statue on the right in the ante hall. It is not really brown, and it is not really holding up a little castle. It was charmed by Warner Brothers.

* Hidden from the Muggle eye is a bar to the left of the ante hall. While Warner Brothers tricked you all into seeing only a blank wall, it really is there.

* We do not have Nearly Headless Nick, we have Headless Wolsey, who haunts the library in search of his hat, although I’ve never seen him.

* The sorting ceremony takes place on Wednesday of 0th week, and involves filling in forms, and signing a register. We find it concerning that we must register with a doctor in the McKenna room. Do they expect something to happen to us?

* There are only three tables in hall, not four, so it is always difficult to tell what house you’re in.

* We do, however, have the Hogwarts Express. Sadly, it is full of tourists.



Our demands for the filming of PoA:

* We want to keep the cool flaming plinth things from the hall steps and the cloisters.

* We want to keep all statues of mythical beasts.

* We want to keep Alan Rickman.

* We demand humane conditions for sick students, and suggest the present arrangements of transferring them to the Bodleian Library are both inadequate and cruel...except for Hermione.

Thank you



Also at http://www.geocities.com/ickle_helena/chch.html